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I’m Bleeding

Posted on Tuesday, July 1, 2008 in Verse

I’m bleeding, I’m bleeding, from every pore and hole

In my entire body, Oy vey it’s getting old!

I’m bleeding from my anus, I’m bleeding from my gums

I’m bleeding from my tuchus, I’m bleeding from my thumbs

I’m bleeding from my kishkas, I’m bleeding from my face

I’m bleeding bleeding bleeding, gosh it’s getting all over the place!

I’m bleeding from my eyeballs, I’m bleeding from my pores

I’m bleeding from my big black nostrils, gee everything is sore!

Oh doctor dear please help me, this wound it needs a dress

It’s getting on my brand new pants, it’s certainly a mess

Look here I’m bleeding on the couch, goddamn it just won’t stop

Will someone please call a Negro nurse, tell her to bring a mop!

I want to call my mummy dear, she’ll fix me right away

C’mon now doctor dearest, won’t you let me have my way?

Here I sit in the Kaiser waiting room, bleeding all over the place

But nobody’s paying any attention, it’s truly a disgrace!

And now I’m getting oh so tired, the room it’s getting dim

As I lie here in a pool of blood, my head’s beginning to swim

I think I see an angel now, oh doesn’t she look sweet

Oh gosh, oh golly I’m bleeding to death, but y’know, it’s kinda neat!

Well here I come Lord, so if you’re there, I hope you’ll let me through

Those pearly gates of heaven, though I’m just a filthy little Jew

I’ve tried my best to be a good boy, to live by the Golden Rule

To do unto others as they’d do unto me, now don’t you think that’s cool?

So as the last drops drain out of me,I look to a life beyond

I just hope there’ll be an angel there, and please–make her a blond

They tell me that the next life, it’s got to be better than this

And that I’m sure is very true, cause bein’ here ain’t exactly been bliss.

My mind is going blank now, I’ve bled and bled and bled

So here I go now one…two…three

That’s it

I’m finished



(c) Stuart Goldman

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