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How To Live A Stupid Life

Posted on Tuesday, September 16, 2008 in Essays, the flesh

GET BORN
DEVELOP AN OEDIPUS COMPLEX
GO TO SCHOOL
QUIT SCHOOL
WONDER WHY YOU’RE HERE
GET NO ANSWERS
FALL IN LOVE
GET REJECTED
FALL IN LOVE AGAIN
YOU REJECT HER THIS TIME
YOU REALIZE THIS IS BETTER
WORK AT A BUNCH OF JOBS YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT
QUIT THOSE JOBS AND GO TO EUROPE
GO INTO THERAPY
AFTER FIVE YEARS REALIZE THAT THERAPY IS STUPID
GET FREAKED OUT AT AROUND 30 THAT LIFE IS PASSING YOU BY
GET MARRIED
REALIZE THAT YOU HATE YOUR WIFE
GET DIVORCED
GET REALLY FREAKED OUT THAT LIFE IS PASSING YOU BY
TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT THIS
REALIZE THAT NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE DOING
GET RELIGIOUS
JOIN A CULT
GET OUT OF THE CULT
GET TOTALLY FREAKED OUT THAT THERE ARE NO ANSWERS
PRAY TO GOD FOR ANSWERS
GET NONE
READ THE OBITUARY COLUMNS TO SEE HOW MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING
PRAY TO GOD SOME MORE FOR ANSWERS
GET NONE
BECOME A CHRISTIAN AS A LAST RESORT
TURN INTO A BORING PERSON
QUIT CHRISTIANITY AFTER JIMMY SWAGGART GETS CAUGHT FUCKING
GET TOTALLY DEPRESSED
WATCH A LOT OF TV
REMEMBER YOUR LIFE
MAKE TIMES THAT WERE REALLY SHITTY GOOD WHEN YOU’RE REMEMBERING
WATCH MORE TV
THINK ABOUT ASKING GOD AGAIN FOR ANSWERS
SAY FUCK IT, THERE ARE NO ANSWERS AND THIS IS ALL REALLY STUPID
GET TOTALLY FREAKED OUT AND DESPONDENT
SIT AROUND AND DO NOTHING OF VALUE
SIT AROUND SOME MORE
GET TO LIKE SITTING AROUND
GET OLD
GET OLDER
GET OLDER STILL
GET CANCER OR ONE OF THOSE DISEASES
DIE.

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